blogger mom

My Evan will be a year old on Saturday. He took his first steps this weekend. He can take about 5 steps in a row before he crashes on his little kushie covered bottom. He loves the celebration after each attempt. Last night a friend described him as "spirited." I think that was her nice way of saying that he's a little wild. He is full of energy and is already trying to keep up with his older brothers. I'll write more about my little guy on Saturday. I've gotten a little sentimental this week about my last baby approaching his first birthday, probably because I've been spending some time with a friend who will be having her first baby any day. It's not that I've been thinking I need another baby, but it does feel like a significant chapter in my life is coming to a close.
Tomorrow the boys and I will be going to my parents for a couple of days. We will be moving my grandfather on Wednesday and I just feel like I want to be with my grandma and my parents right now. I've been pretty emotional about it today. I miss my grandpa. Really nothing is left of the grandpa I used to know. Age and Alzheimer's have taken everything he used to be from him. I miss the man who had never met a stranger, who was the greeter at K-Mart after he retired just because he wanted to be around people. I miss the man who helped me with my art projects because he was overflowing with creativity. I miss the man who invented games for me and my cousins and let us play in his shed while he worked on a project. I don't think I'll ever forget the smell of cut wood and sawdust in his shed. He loved us and sometimes hugged us too tight. He made tags for my pound puppies, decorated my valentine's boxes, loved to "beard" his grandchildren. He loves my grandma more than anything in the world. When I visit with him now his eyes are blank. But I think he knows that something big is about to happen and I'm scared about what this might do to him. I know that he's tired, he's ready to be done with this life, ready to rest, to be with Jesus. I know he's not gone yet, but for some reason this move is making me face the reality that his time here is coming to an end. So, we'll do what we always do, we'll hang on to each other. We'll find comfort in each other's presence. I love my family, they are a beautiful gift.