so many thoughts today, I've been needing to sit down and journal all day.
Almost three years ago Eric and I began a new journey. It was a step into the unknown and the years have been full of uncertainty and transition. It seems to have all led us to the point we found ourselves at tonight. Tonight we did not meet with our community that has become our family over the last months. We missed our time with them, but they have sent us out to begin again. After a year in Grandview we felt God telling us that the time had come to start a new community in our home. Tonight we sat as a family with Jen, Nick and Joanna. We shared evening prayers, a meal, scripture, and a time of prayer. Good questions were still being asked when I came back downstairs from putting Riley to bed. I was anxious for most of the day. Three years of build up came crashing down on me as I prepared for the evening. I called my grandma and my mom and asked for their prayers. My family is so incredibly supportive of us, even though at times I know they don't completely understand us. As they began to pray I felt a peace fill our home. It was a good night.
Ginger and Ryan received difficult news today, the baby is in serious distress and the doctor expects his days to be short. My heart is broken for them, and yet at the same time I refuse to stop praying, to give up on this little one.
My parents are at market. I miss them. My dad has been in this business for a long time and his integrity sets him apart from others. He would never say this about himself, but I work for him, and I know this to be true. Every market this becomes more obvious. Daddy, I have a word for you tonight. Allow your integrity to speak for itself. I'm so proud of you tonight.
On a lighter note, Riley seems to be having a little problem at school when it comes to clean up time. When his teachers talked with me about this today, I instantly pictured myself cleaning up all the toys the night before after he had gone to bed. No wonder he won't help out at school! The reward system for helping clean up is a stamp on the hand. I was unaware of this, probably because I've never noticed a stamp on Riley's hand before. I imagine Riley thinks at clean up time, "Why should I help for a stupid stamp. Nana bought me a whole stamp set for Valentine's Day. I can give myself a stamp when I get home." So, we have some talking to do, some explaining. And, we will be implementing a reward system at home, not for just cleaning up at school, but also for helping at home. Any advice from mothers who have been in the same situation would be appreciated!
Kerri, It is so exciting to hear of this new beginning. It seems so long since we have all been together, but I feel blessed to know that we are going down similar roads in different places. I remember those beginning days over three years ago. Our paths have looked much different and yet shared a common heart. I love that. We miss you. James (and Kelly)
James said...
10:52 PM
Allow me to advise...
Give the kid whatever he wants- money, fame, chocolate.
Yours,
Dr D. Bear.
Anonymous said...
11:37 PM
Advice from a Mom/Teacher-
Think of your community - the vision, the dream, and advice from God - sell everything and share...
Why in America do we then teach our children to do everything for what they can get? a stamp on the hand, all the way up to the A on the report card.
The vision and dream for Riley and Trey is for them to see a need and pitch in and help out with the need - just as you do in your community. We teachers call that intrinsic motiviation - and it is lost so quickly by American children who live with these inappropriate expectations (you will only help clean up if I give you something in return - I have seen a majority of children enjoy this activity!!)- fueled by the belief that they won't do anything unless something is in it for them.
Riley should be held accountable for the part of the mess he makes. At our school every single child cleans up and puts away whatever they have out before they choose something else - this teaches them to be careful and allows us to say "make it beautiful for the next child" and they begin to think about others - so that when there is a need (a child drops something and makes a mess) almost every time 2 to 6 children come over to help the one with the need!
I know you love your preschool - that is a normal mom emotion - but I would think about the traditional methods in use and whether that is really what you want for your son. The experiences you are providing him - all the day trips you blog about - are perhaps enough. I guess I would rather see him at home with your loving care than in a setting that serves in some ways as the antithesis of your spiritual vision.
Think about logical and natural consequences at home - not rewards. Rewards come from the outside. All of our self control comes from our own internal sense of right and wrong. Riley can choose to put his toys away at home and be allowed to get something else out. He wants to help you make cookies? simply state and follow through with the idea that as soon his legos are in the bin he will be ready to wash up and come help.
Read a book by Rudolph Driekurs - if you want the definitive volume. Or the paperback book - Not spanking, or spoiling that guides many parents.
I know I went off here - sorry - I just hate to see Riley's internal growth broken. How many kids only behave in the grocery store so mommy will buy them a toy? That is so wrong!
Sorry - you asked - that's my mom/educator opinion!
love you - middle aged blogger
middle aged blogger said...
6:34 AM