blogger mom

Thanksgiving...where to start. I'll start with the positives. We had a great time with Eric's family on Wednesday and Thursday. It was very relaxing and just good to have everyone together at the same time. The boys had a great time playing and I'm pretty sure we left Mimi and PopPop absolutely exhausted!

Unfortunately I woke up on Friday morning extremely sick. My guess is that something I ate didn't sit right with my pregnant sensitive stomach. I was vomiting most of the day on Friday and had sharp stabbing pains in my stomach all day. I really wanted to drive home on Friday night, I just wanted to be sick in my own house. In hindsight, that probably wasn't the best idea. The drive home went fine, but I was completely incapable of helping Eric when we got home with the luggage or the kids. I stumbled into bed, leaving Eric alone to get everything inside. As I was walking up the front steps I heard the familiar honking pattern two doors down. It's always a sign that shady illegal business is taking place. I sighed, and went in the house. Eric got all three boys in quickly and went back out for the luggage. We all went to bed thinking everything was fine.

The next morning I woke up feeling a little better and was able to get a shower. When I got out I realized something was wrong. My bag wasn't in our room. Eric went out to the car to check, the car was still locked...no suspicious activity...but no bag. That's when I remember the deal going on next door the night before. It quickly became obvious that someone had taken the bag while Eric was bringing the boys in the house. Obviously I was extremely frustrated and angry. A good portion of my maternity clothes, all of our toiletries, my vitamins, running shoes, spare contacts...all gone and expensive to replace. But, just stuff. It was probably about an hour later when we realized that in the rush to pack up our stuff and get me home quickly, my purse had also been thrown into that suitcase. Now we've lost credit cards, which had already been used around town, my driver's license, and the cash my grandma gave me for the kids Christmas gifts. The frustration was building, but we canceled the cards and tried to move on with the day. An hour or so later Eric was leaving to run an errand when we then realized that my keys were also in the bag. That's when panic hit. My keys were taken in front of my house. They had my car key and my house key. They had them last night, while we were all sleeping. I called a locksmith and the locks to the house were changed within the hour. Eric bought a club for the steering wheel because the van locks will have to be taken care of by the dealership next week.

I left for CVS to replace my vitamins and our toiletries so we could take showers and brush our teeth the next day. We got the boys to bed and I cracked. The heaviness of what could have happened literally made me sick again. All the what ifs...what if Eric hadn't been able to get the boys in quickly enough the night before when someone came to the van. What if Riley, who woke up when the car stopped at home, was slow getting out and wandered in the house behind his daddy. What if the house key had been used while we were sleeping. All of this led to more heavy questions that I've been dealing with for about six months now, all the implications of choosing to live here...to be very honest, I began pleading with God to work it out for us to leave. I could list so many situations over the past three years that have scared the shit out of me, times I've had to call the police while I'm home alone, times my children have been frightened, or have learned how to lie to for the safety of our family. Just last week the gunshot in the alley sounded like it was coming through my back door and it was loud enough to send my husband running downstairs to make sure I was okay in my own house.

It's a new day and my stomach has settled down. I was able to tolerate a cup of coffee, which was a gift. We'll be going to the movies and dinner with my family, which will be a good distraction. But, the tears won't stop this morning. I just can't seem to get them under control. I know this isn't the kind of post that is very comforting for our family to read. In fact I'm sure there are a lot of "I told you so's" being mumbled while this is being read. But, I needed to work out my thoughts here. And, I'm asking for your prayers for our family. We are so very thankful for God's protection during this situation and during the past three years. We ask that you pray for our continued protection for as long as we live here in the Bottoms. We also need wisdom to make the right decisions for our family. We have two more children that will be part of our family very soon and these five little blessings will always be our highest priority.